okay....I know.

I haven't been getting on lately. I took the time out from the social network world and saying I might be closing down my blogspot...why? I'm hardly be on here mostly on twitter and facebook.

Drifting

I sometimes find I'm drifting
Through this life without effect;
I often wonder if I'm truly
Worth what I've been blessed.


I search through days that have been hard,
To try to understand,
The many trials that I have known,
The life that I have had.


You see me in my daily grind,
So confident and strong;
Yet when I am alone, I question
Just where I belong.


I often try too hard I find,
To analyze and guess,
To scrutinize, investigate
My life I will confess.


For somewhere deeper, there must be
Some meaning to this life,
Some way to make a difference,
Give a reason for this strife.


Is there some hidden meaning?
Some agenda to be found?
A greater purpose waiting
If I care to hang around?


It teases and it taunts me,
Always slightly out of sight;
A hazy vision out of reach,
Where darkness hides the light.


I struggle to bring clarity
To what awaits me there,
And yet this weak illusion
Always fades before my stare.


It seems the harder that I try,
To focus through the haze,
Just serves to add more questions,
Through my endless, tired gaze.


Perhaps I'm trying just too hard,
To understand it all,
For can we ever truly know
Just what we have in store?


Each incident, each moment passed,
Just adds upon the next,
But in the end, will I find truth ...
Or will I be perplexed?


Perhaps I make it harder
Than it has to be sometimes,
But will my searching bring to me
My meaning over time?


Or will it leave me broken,
And confused as I feel now,
While questions bring no solitude,
To this, my wrinkled brow.

This Woman

This woman and I say woman despite her age because she is so mature means the world to me. She's the person I can depend on to always be there when I need someone by my side.She understands me, which is very rare and she accepts me despite my imperfections. She is that girl that can give me a good laugh at any time of the day.She's such a positive energy to be around and everyone needs a friend like her. But too bad you can't have her cause she's mine. She is my fashionista twin and one of my greatest inspirations. She's accomplished so much at such a young age & motivates me daily to do the same.

A Different Path

It's time to go, to leave this place
A shadowy voice does cry.
But the voice belongs to me alone,
And still I wonder why.


The time is here upon me now
Like a weight, heavy pounding.
Or has it Lifted? Hard to tell
The Questions keep arising.


The unknown awaits, as it does
For foolish few who dare.


Is it foolishness?


Curiosity perhaps?


Or something I'm not aware.


For I am scared and poignant now
More than ever at present.
Tears cloud my eyes as pen meets paper,
And I hope for my ascent.


I leave behind what I comprehend
And even with all communication.
I know for now without doubt,
I drift, en route a new location.


But who's to say what shall pass
And what still lies ahead.
I only know that were I'm at,
I'll yearn 'till forever dead.


Yet for now the flame still burns inside
However daily dying.
To light the path less traveled by
In haste I'm already striding.


But am I running from that I cannot?


Escape from oneself is ever brief.
Before we are again confronted,
Hunting for relief.


Yet still I follow my perilous path
To wherever it might be leading.
And well it may, onto something new,
And strangely more inviting.


Or perhaps not . . .


But who's to know, not I as yet
The fate of anyone on this Earth,
I wouldn't like to bet.


For life can lead in many ways
Often now undesired.
Fate can deal a cruel hand sometimes,
But we play on, cold and tired.


And art is born of life


Hard, dejected and trodden.


Hence emerges exquisite beauty,
And some direction from the coffin.


Finding it is a difficult thing
Sometimes left without thought.
But time it ticks, and years they fly,
I'm sure it can't be bought.


So we search, as do I
For things that bring on the 'morrow.
The weak are those who don't pursue,
And languish in their sorrow.


Happiness is that I chase
And hope to find someday.
I'll count the means again I'm sure,


There is always another way . . .

Not In Her Storm

I see the clouds rolling in and oh how it looks like rain
And it is always I fight for the welcome change
When it rains it pours on this heart of mine
So, I take the storms I feel to her each time.


But I know she has lived under her own pouring rain
Yet under her water her heart still doesn't change
She can walk away from what hangs overhead
And, not in her storm, are words left unsaid.


Not in her storm have I ever felt alone
Her storm ends, so I, may find my way home
It's for me that she pushes away her own rain
So, that I may find comfort in calling her name.


She lives in this world for the sake of another's heart
God, how she eases the miles when worlds apart
And she never wanders when your world falls through
Not ever in her storm would she do this to you.


She has wings that I know not only I can see
Cause only an angel could find strength to carry me
It's the way that the eyes can surely view
How her heart's written so clearly in what an angel can do.


Not in her storm is her work ever done
And even in her storm she hands me the sun
When her world is dark - I always have light
And now how I hold the new color of night.


She takes then she gives to an unhappy face
So that many can find an awesome place
I have been able to love her more every day
And with her hand in mine the clouds roll away.


Not in any storm that I will ever live beneath
Could ever change what I hold here inside of me
Not in any of her storms have I lost my angels touch
To that angel out there, I love her so much.

Shut Up, Stop Lying.

Since I didn't had a blogger on June 25, 2009. I would like to share some words.

Michael Jackson was my one of favorite singer, and dancer. I was speechless when I heard that he passed away. I was on the computer like I am right now and watching tv. They said that Michael Jackson was rushed to the hospital than a couple minutes later they announced that he had passed away. I couldn't believe it. People on twitter, and facebook was just shock that king of pop was gone. I sat the whole day watching and listening to his music and music video. I didn't had no emotion in me. I was just there shock. Because before I became a fan of B2K....I was a huge fan of MJ. So the next day I was heading to Connecticut. So when I'm got there. In the hotel with my cousin and uncle watching cnn, All the overwhelming feeling finally hit me. I shed tears a little, My cousin asked me whats wrong I said I miss Michael Jackson, He said me too. So while we was in Connecticut we just celebrated his wonderful talent that he shared to the world. Even though It will been a year already. I still miss him. RIP MJ- Love Liyah.